Can the narcissist be saved?
Recently, some of the young adults in the ministry at our church posed the question, “Can the narcissist be saved?” It makes sense to me to approach this question by first looking more closely at the name of our young adult ministry at our church, which we call Gen N.O.W. The acronym stands for Not of The World based on the Gospel of John, specifically John 17:14-16, when Jesus states, “I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.” The devil—that is, the evil one—is the ultimate narcissist. Indeed, Satan is the one who drives the world toward centering everything on one’s own self, looking inward, rather than outward. Narcissism means that one is consumed with one’s own image or making one’s reality conform to that which pleases him or her first and foremost. The Bible frames this in terms of going after things of the flesh—worldly recognition such as fame, wealth, sexual attractiveness or power. The Apostle Paul explains the dichotomy this way: “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:6). In other words, narcissism leads to death, but godliness leads to everlasting life.
The opening chapters of Genesis explain that men and women are created in God’s image, meaning they were meant to reflect his holiness and righteousness in relationship with one another. The first man, Adam, and the first woman, Eve, were supposed to serve one another, complement one another and live in a lasting symbiosis that puts the love of the other before the love of the self: “Then God said: ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness’….And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” (Genesis 1:26, 28). Of course, at the Fall in which mankind slips into a realm in which the will of the creation works to supersede the will of the Creator, God, we see that narcissism rules the world. Human beings, in their newly acquired self-gratifying megalomania, seek to showcase their own, individual significance, even competing against others for prominence, worshipping themselves rather than the Father of the Universe—a ridiculous absurdity that reveals the senselessness of evil as it paves the way for its own destruction. That being said, “narcissism,” the word, comes from Greek Mythology, or the Myth of Narcissus, who was among the handsomest of hunters, and who became deeply obsessed and in love with his own reflection. Indeed, he was so in love with himself and his “image in the mirror” that he wasted away, consumed by his own flesh. Talk about a bad ending!
Narcissism in our culture today implies not just an obsession over looks, but also a myopic selfishness that has little concern for the feelings of others or their circumstances, but rather is grossly opportunistic and focused on achieving the highest place for oneself in spite of the consequences for outsiders. “Me, Myself and I” serves as a sadistic and counterfeit self-centered trinity. This counterfeit trinity juxtaposed against the Holy Trinity—God the Father, God the Son and God the Spirit, who live in harmonious unity governing and guide the cosmos, including the happenings on Earth—is like comparing Mount Rumpke (a mountain built out of trash here in Cincinnati) with Mount Everest, the glorious creation of God Almighty!
The answer to the question, “can the narcissist be saved?” is “yes,” but only insofar as he or she turns from his or her narcissism through the recognition of one’s own sin. The next question, might be, “but how is that possible since the narcissist is incapable of looking outside of himself?” Interestingly, this is the same question that Nicodemus posed to Jesus in the third chapter of the Gospel of John: 3 Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” 4 Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?” 5 Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. 6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7 Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’8 The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit (John 3:3-8). In short, the old, narcissistic man must die, and each man or woman must be born again in the Spirit. To Nicodemus and many of us, we look around at the world, and we think how could this person or that person ever be saved? But this is when looking in the mirror gets ugly—when we look at ourselves long enough in the mirror like Narcissus does, the Spirit convicts us of our ugliness in our sin; we are no longer deceived by our unhandsome, false virtue. We, too, need to be saved by being born again!
In essence, I would submit that we are all narcissists in our sin. All of us think more about ourselves than we do others in our sinful nature (that can be through arrogance and self-aggrandizement OR through depression and self-flagellation, of which Jesus wants neither). In order to escape our narcissism, we must accept that Jesus Christ has died the death that we deserved in our sin and allow the Spirit (this is the Holy Spirit) to transform us over time. Romans 12:2 explains, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…”
To whatever degree you are following after Jesus Christ, brothers and sisters, is the degree to which you have put to death the Narcissus in you. Even when we think we do not think very highly of ourselves, we might stop and assess how much of our days were spent feeling sorry for ourselves or thinking about how we deserve the place that another occupies. Instead, Philippians 2:3-4 has the antidote for us in following after Jesus Christ: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” What a radically different worldview—one that recognizes true beauty in how each of us is serving and loving others well!
Until next time, brothers and sisters:
Serve and retreat, rest and repeat!
Pastor Kyle
